Past Scars: Part III

Past Scars

Part III: Price to be Paid

As I slowly walked home, all I could feel was pain and emptiness. It was my fault Roxanne was still stuck with the organization, she wouldn’t have been if I had waited for her, but I’d been too scared. Instead I’d abandoned the closest thing to a friend I had ever had… I was about halfway to the house when Mace came toward me.

“Hey.” He said. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” I said flatly.

“Jaime, you don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m n—”

“I can see you’re upset, you can talk to me.” I stayed quiet. “That girl, she isn’t your cousin is she?”

“No.”

“Who is she?”

“She used to be my girlfriend.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were gay…”

“I’m not. I’m pretty sure I’m not into girls. She was just there when I needed someone and she was attracted to me… I didn’t want to risk losing her so I said yes.”

“Oh…”

“I don’t regret it.” I shrugged. “Why do you care?”

“I care because I do care about you Jaime.”

I laughed dryly. “So you want to fuck me. Fat chance.”

He sighed loudly. “No that’s not it! I thought we had something…”

“You helped me, I had to repay you, that was it.”

From the fingerless gloves he wore on his hands I felt his fists clench. “Is that really all you think of me? That I did what I did just so I could use you?”

“It’s what everyone does. Nobody does anything if it doesn’t benefit them, even if it’s just to make themselves feel better about themselves.” I said. “Wait… Does that mean you remember?”

“I’m starting to, at least some parts of that summer.”

“We have to get Roxanne back.”

“Sorry, but I don’t think I can do it again.”

“But—”

“There’s a price to my powers, Jaime.” He said flatly. “One I can’t make myself pay again. I’ve already sold too much of myself.”

“You’re going to be petty like that just because I’m not going to let you fuck me?” I turned around but he grabbed me by the arm.

“It’s not like that! Believe it or not but I don’t expect anything of you except for you to be my friend, but I guess that’s too much to ask for. I don’t have anything left to give away; I already lost my name, my identity and my past. I sold my right to lie to save your life, what else am I supposed to give away for others?”

I just froze under his verbal onslaught. In all the time I’d known Mace, he’d never been this strong and vocal.

“Your right to lie?”

“I can’t lie anymore, everything I say has to be true as far as I know, although it can be a partial truth, but I can’t say anything false, hell I can’t even do theater because it’s false…”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“We come from different worlds Jaime, sure the same Earth but there’s a secret world hidden from most people. Magic is real, demons, goblins and everything that goes bump in the right are all real. It’s how I got my powers, by consorting with these creatures, how I got Laevatein too. Everything I have comes with a price, and they don’t take money. They want to be real so what they ask of you is part of yourself. I sold my name for Laevatein, I sold my memories for freedom… When you were dying from that shit, I sold away my right to lie so you could live.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I’d like to say that I don’t care what you think, but that would be a lie. You don’t have to believe me and I do wish helping your friend was that easy, I’d do it in a heartbeat, but I—” The word seemed struck in his throat. “But I don’t want to pay that price again, I’ve lost too much of myself already. You can call me selfish if you want, but now I know how you feel about me, I’m not sure if I should really care anymore…”

To my surprise, tears started pouring out of his eyes and running down his face.

“Just what the hell do you want from me?” He screamed. “One moment you hate me and want me to fuck off and the next you come back to me because you need support. Is that all I am to you? Some fucking tool to use and discard as you please? Do you really think I did all I did; saving you, protecting you, going to the doctor with you, keeping your secrets and giving you company was all just so I could put my dick in you? Is that really what you think of me? That I’m just some fuckboy douche?”

I didn’t answer.

“I guess that time you apologize to me was just more bullshit.” He looked away. “You must think I’m a moron for falling for it.”

“Mace it w—”

“Stop, I don’t want to hear it. I don’t believe a word you say anymore. I wish you well, but don’t come and talk to me again.” He turned around and walked off. “I don’t want to hear from you, not until you’re ready to stop pushing people away.”

I tried to catch up to him but the pain in my damaged legs was too strong. I tried to call out to him but he didn’t listen.  I just collapsed on the paved path and let out a scream. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I have to lash out at anyone trying to help me?

***

“Jaime?” Doc Venus called, coming out of her office.

“Yeah, I’m here.” I got up and went into the office with her.

“I see your friend Mace isn’t with you today.” She noted out loud.

“We’re not really talking right now.”

He had ignored me all night and morning. He was definitely intent on not getting involved with me again.

“That’s a shame. What can I do for you today?”

“Just the usual transfusion therapy.” I said with a shrug.

She guided me to the usual room and I lied down on the medical bed, removing my shirt and exposing the transfusion port. She hooked me up and began treatment. I must have dozed off from the lack of sleep the night before because the next moment she was tapping my wrist.

“You’re all done.” She said. “Is there anything else you need?”

I looked out the frosted window and by the darkness I could tell that it was already past sunset. I put my shirt back on and slipped off the bed, repressing a grunt of pain as my knees groaned from the sudden change in weight.

“Actually, I could use some help with the pain…” I sighed.

“I think I have just the right thing. Wait here.”

She left the room and came back a second later. Except instead of pills or medicine, she carried a metal walking stick.

“You’re kidding.” I snarled. “Do I look like a cripple?”

“I know you’re struggling to accept your new condition, but you are disabled Jaime and soon enough you’ll have to make lifestyle changes or you’ll risk worsening your condition in the long term. This is just a cane, it’ll help lessen the weight you put in your legs, it’ll help ease the pain and let you be more mobile, you don’t have to use it all the time, just when you feel you need an extra bit of help.”

I wanted to tell her to shove it up her cloacal, but Mace’s words came back to mind; I don’t want to hear from you, not until you’re ready to stop pushing people away

“Fine…” I sighed. “I’ll take it.”

The doc grinned wide. “I’m glad to hear it. This is just a temporary one, we can look up for a more personal one if you’d like. Custom fit and decorated just for you.”

“Maybe another time?”

“Of course.”

She gave me the stupid cane and I took my first step, with her instructing me on how to properly use it.

Origins: Jaime 5

Into Darkness: Part Five

Three Years ago

Once I played ball, the pain stopped. All I had to do was hurt whoever the organization asked me to without asking questions. The first one had been hard, left me unable to sleep for weeks… The second one, not so much. The one after that even less so. After a while, I’d stopped counting, stopped remembering their faces. I was just a weapon, it was best not to think… it was easier not to care…

Roxanne was the only thing that brought a shred of humanity in my life. We had to survive she said, and that meant holding onto the tiniest fragment of ourselves. Every hobby, every thing we loved was important. And one of Roxanne’s was old school arcades.

But as we played a few rounds of an obscure tournament fighter, people massing around to watch Roxanne — apparently she was really good and known around the usual customers — I could hear them whispering, grimacing and pointing whenever they thought I wouldn’t notice; “look at her face!” “What’s wrong with her?”

“You win this round.” I muttered. I clenched my fists and made a run for the bathrooms, which much to my irritation couldn’t be locked. Roxanne walked in just a moment after me.

“Are you okay?”

“People, they’re staring at me. I can hear them saying shit.” I muttered, my hand instinctively rising to touch the right side of my face, feeling the scars. Although they’d healed, they hadn’t completely faded in four years.

I took out the comb I carried and redid my hair, trying to hide the scars further than they normally did. However Roxanne pushed the strands gently off my face.

“You shouldn’t have to hide your face. You’re beautiful just as you are.”

“Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m serious.” She pushed my hair away from my eye and behind my ear. “You are beautiful.” She whispered. There was a quiet moment and her hand brushed mine… “I like you Jaime… I mean as more than friends…”

“You’re…”

“I’m gay. Jaime, do you like me?”

“I don’t know.” I muttered. “I never wanted to think about those things…” After what my father had done, the idea of letting someone touch me the way he had had become terrifying.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to give me an answer now.” She said, her tone a little sadder than she’d intended it to be. “How about we ditch these guys and get you a little pick me up?” She then added, forcing herself to be more upbeat.

“That sounds nice.”

“To the pancake house we go!”

“You know me too well.” I snickered.

She took my hand and I didn’t push her away. We walked out together, ignoring the stares and hushed whispers.

***

Four months later

In the end, I said yes so Roxanne and I became a thing. I had no clue if I was even into girls but I didn’t really want to think about it too much. I just needed her by my side to keep me sane, if that meant being her girlfriend then it was a fair trade. Maybe because I’d told her about my father, she hadn’t tried to push things any further, which suited me.

On a chilly summer night, I was just coming out of the shower when I heard the front door open, I peeked down the stairs and saw Roxanne standing in the entrance. She was shaking, blood splattered all over her clothes.

“Roxanne?” I rushed to her side. “Are you hurt?”

“It’s not mine… Jonas…” She mumbled, still in shock. Jonas was one of the other like us, one who could manipulate fire. “He… He…” She couldn’t finish her sentence.

“It’s alright, come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

She didn’t resist as I guided her to the bathroom, helped her undress (but keeping her underwear on) and then helped her to climb into the bath combo. She just sat at the bottom as I used the handheld showerhead and a clean cloth to wiped the blood away.

When she was clean, I helped her out and practically carried her our bedroom, setting her down in her bed while I sat next to her. She rested her head on my laps, wearing nothing but a towel and her soaked underwear, crying gently until she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. Just like the first night after I’d been freed from the basement dungeon but that time the roles had been reversed.

As she’d slept I’d gotten the chance to ask Mr. Neville about what had happened and to my surprise he had answered. At least in the vague details, about how an operation had been botched and Jonas was dead or captured.

When Roxanne finally woke up in the morning, she’d slept almost twelve hours and yet looked like she’d only been asleep for two.

“How are you?” I asked, coming to her side.

“Okay…” She muttered.

“Let me get you some tea.”

She nodded and I went into the kitchen, preparing some green tea just as she liked it and some toasts. When I came back upstairs, Roxanne was still sitting on the bed, half naked and rocking gently, her expression blank. I set the plate and cup on the dresser next to her bed and she barely reacted.

“Do you want to talk?”

She shook her head and reluctantly dove into her breakfast in silence.

“The Nevilles are out so how about we go out and catch some bugs today?” I proposed once she was finished.

“You want to catch bugs with me?”

“I hate bugs, but you you like them and I think I should do something for you. I mean you tolerate my pancake addiction. And right now, doing something silly sounds like what you need.” To be fair, it wasn’t really bugs I hated so much as any kind of nature.

She reluctantly followed me after we grabbed her gear and headed off into a nearby clearing. Thankfully after a few minutes, her passion took over, quickly coming to teach me what I was doing wrong; namely everything, but the fact I wasn’t dousing the field in gasoline and throwing a lit match was a good start.

When she decided it was time to head home, she had a sizable bounty of catches she’d captured and killed even if she refused to use her power, citing ‘fair play’ against the bugs. Mostly it was some beetles, a few butterflies and a really shiny dragonfly.

“I am beyond tired!” She declared flopping on her bed. “But we got some great catches.”

“If you say so, they all look ugly and weird to me.”

“Oh come on, look at that Calligrapha beetle.” She said, showing me a bright green beetle with black wiggly lines.

“Still gross. I’ll stick with actually cute animals, thank you very much.”

“If you could get a pet, what would it be?” She asked, still lying down.

“I dunno, probably a dog.” I said with a shrug before lying down next to her.

“What kind?”

“Probably an american pit bull terrier. People give ‘em a bad rap but I had a friend who had one and she was super sweet.”

I spent a few minutes talking about dogs, people around me had often owned them but my father had always been strictly anti-pet, so I’d had to content myself befriending them during our visits or those times I’d meet them in the neighborhood. As I talked, Roxanne head rested on my shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

“I am.” She gently twisted my head and kissed me. “Jaime… I want you…” She whispered in my ear.

“Want me?” I hadn’t realized I’d stopped breathing at the words.

“You know?”

She didn’t have to specify further… I shivered at the thought. In four months we’d avoided it. But now the time had come. A million thoughts raced through my head, I wanted to run, but I didn’t have the strength. I didn’t want to risk losing her if I did…

“You don’t have to…”

“It’s alright.” I muttered.

She unbuttoned my jeans. I didn’t protest and stopped myself from flinching, biting back any memories. Maybe with her, it was going to be different… I removed her shirt and she pushed me onto her bed, taking my pants off.

***

We laid together in bed, Roxanne holding my naked, sweat covered body with her arms. I could feel her breath on my neck as I laid awake. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t stop thinking…

“Are you alright?” She asked, whispering to my ear.

“I just thought it would hurt…” I answered. “That it would send me back to those days…” Her grip around me tightened and she pressed her head against my shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know…” I went quiet for a moment. “It was different… Maybe because you’re a girl.”

She gave me a hug. “I’m here for you Jaime.”

I nodded. “It started after my mom was taken away…” I muttered after a moment.

“Was taken away?”

“They put her in a mental hospital after she…” I gulped at the memory. “She tried to drown me…”

“Oh my god…”

“I was in the bathtub playing, she was watching over me and then it just happened…” I could feel my hands shaking. I wrapped my arms around my body. “My dad came in just in time… She kept saying it was to save me from the darkness…”

“Jesus Christ!” She screamed before wrapping her arms around me.

“It was a long time ago.” I said, but it wasn’t right. Seven years later and I still couldn’t swim or take a bath, even showers risked my mind wandering back… “I’m fine.”

There was a moment of silence.

“There’s something I need to say… I lied to you.” Roxanne said breaking it.

“About?”

“My parents dying.” She said and I frowned. “Well, not entirely. My dad died in that accident, but my mom survived.”

“How did you get here then?”

“After my dad died, my mom decided to start over with a clean slate, no baggage…” She muttered. “She dumped me in the foster care system and just left. She never saw me again. I tracked her down a few months ago. She’s living in Atlantic city with a new husband and two new kids, changed her name even.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“No, I snuck in with my power. There wasn’t anything of me, no pictures, no nothing… She took care of me for seven years and then just erased me from her life.”

I hugged her. As terrible as my parents had been, as much as they had hurt me they had cared for me, they’d wanted me. Roxanne had just been thrown away like garbage.

“Want me to wreck her shit?”

She let out a sad snicker. “That sounds really tempting… But we shouldn’t get in trouble, she’s not worth it.”

She wrapped her arms around my belly and dragged my closer, resting our bodies against one another.

“I love you.” She muttered.

I couldn’t find it in me to answer her…

Origins: Jaime 4

Into Darkness: Part Four

Four Years Ago

I woke up late that night. I was still in Roxanne’s bed. Roxanne was lying beside me, still fully clothed, having let me drag all the covers in my sleep.

“Roxanne? Are you asleep?”

“Jaime?” She said, rising up.

“I must have fallen asleep…” I said, stupidly pointing out the obvious.

“How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know…” I muttered. Even though the memory of that morning was still fresh on my mind, the pain and horror had given way to emptiness.

There was a long moment of silence as we both tried to think of something to say. It was Roxanne that broke the silence first.

“You missed dinner,” She began, “so why don’t we go out and get you something to eat or drink, anything. It’s my treat.”

“Are we allowed to go outside?”

“They don’t mind, we get some slack in what we do since they know we can’t go anywhere.” She said with a shrug. “But if they call, drop anything and run back, don’t make them wait.”

I nodded and we went outside into the snow covered town. It had been late in September when Mr. Neville had taken me in. Somewhere around two months had passed, trapped in a cell.

“Has nobody come to check up on me, noticed I was gone?” I asked. I knew there wasn’t really anyone. Although my mother was alive, she wasn’t allowed anywhere near me…

“The foster system sent someone but they were prepared, they have a doppelganger on call.”

“A what?”

“Someone who can look like you. It was hard to listen to, seeing it talk about how well you’d adjusted there. And how sorry you were they had to wait because you were ‘hanging out with your new friends’”

I nodded.

“What are you in the mood for? There’s a strip mall a few blocks ahead they have a decent fast food, a late night grocery and a twenty-four hour pancake house”

“Pancakes sounds amazing right now”

“Again?” She said, raising a brow. “I’m starting to think you’re an addict, it’s like eighty percent of your diet girl.”

For the first time in forever, I actually laughed. Which brought a smile to her lips.

“I just like them.”

“Pancakes it is.”

We went to a local pancake house in the strip mall she’d told me about, taking a quiet corner and letting me order whatever I wanted; gorging on pancakes and bacon. When we were done, the server came to pick up the check. When Roxanne opened her wallet I saw a few hundred bills in there.

“Where did you get all that money?” I whispered, making sure nobody would overhear.

“The organization gave it to me.”

“They pay you?”

She nodded. “And it’s not bad, money’s not a problem with the organization that’s for sure. Carrot and the stick y’know. They hurt us if we don’t comply and give us whatever we want if we do.”

“What do we do exactly?”

“There’s a park we passed on the way here, there’s never anyone in it. We can talk safely there if you’d like.” She answered back.

I nodded, she finished paying the bill and we walked halfway back to the house only to stop in a small park filled with invasive blackberry bushes.

“What do they want from us?”

“Whatever we can accomplish. With my power, they typically want me to steal things, hurt people discretely or spy on them. I got it easier than most I guess.”

“What can you do?”

Rather than tell me, she showed me; disappearing before my eyes.

“Woah…”

“I can’t be seen, not even by infravision.” She said, still invisible “I can’t be heard unless I want to be, I have no scent either. Only thing that can detect me is touch. It wasn’t always like that. At first it was just sight, but when I came here they changed it.” Her explanation over she became visible again.

“They did they experiment on you too?”

“Yes, although. It was probably different from you. From what I’ve gathered Alcastiel, that’s the local director is trying to improve the formula. While it made my powers stronger, if I use them for more than a few minutes, I get terrible migraines. I know someone else who bleeds the eye and nose since his treatment.”

“I thought the director was Circe, they called her that.”

“You saw Circe? Are you sure?”

“Yes, why? Isn’t that normal?”

“Heck no, she’s an urban legend. A mysterious figure who gives powers to those who seek them, offering them in exchange for whatever she needs. It’s very faustian.”

“Faustian?”

“It’s from a fairy tale, nevermind. If you really saw her then they must have sought outside help…”

“The drug, they gave us. Is it real? I’ve felt withdrawal, but how do we know it’ll be fatal.”

“I’ve seen one of the others who decided to try to get off. Fuckers even rounded us up to watch. He made it to the fourth day after he was due before his heart gave up, even begged them to dose him again…”

“Jesus mio…” I muttered, echoing my father and how he’d always slip back into his native Spanish whenever he’d be upset or surprised… “Wait, you said someone else? There are more of us?”

“From the people I’ve met, I think there are at least a half dozen places like ours. They take in superpowered kids from the system, make them disappear. I think the treatment works best with young people, it explains why they are using us as more than test subjects. But that last part just speculation on my parts.”

“Who are they?”

“I don’t know. They’re always on the move, always changing. From what I understand, whenever the authorities get anywhere close they shut down everything, burn the evidence and take on a new name.” She sighed. “I don’t know much else, only what little I could piece together and overhear. They’re preparing for a war, like humans versus mutants they believe is coming…”

“I see.”  

There was a moment of silence as I processed everything she’d said.

“Can I ask something personal?” I asked.

“I guess you can.”

“How did you get here?”

“My parents died years ago in a car crash.” She said with a sigh. “I was so young that I don’t remember them much at all, but not young enough to be adopted I guess.” She said. “I did the circuit of shitty foster parents but every time I kept running so eventually they put me in a cell. The universe must have had a weird sense of humor and wanted me to get away because it’s there I developed my powers. What about you, do you feel like sharing?”

“Dad’s dead, mom’s not allowed to be near me. Did the abusive fosters too until my power bashed my foster dad’s head in. That got me to juvie, then the Nevilles got me.

“How did you father die?”

“Same fire I got my burns from… I never thought I’d miss him, but here I am…”

“Bad relationship?”

I bit my lips hard, bringing my knees to my chin. “He… did things to me…” Was all I could make myself say. She didn’t need to hear anymore to understand… Why the hell was I even telling her that? I’d never told anyone, not the dozens of shrinks they’d made me see… Then again they were always more interested in what my mom had tried to do to me…

“Oh crap, shit man, I’m sorry.”

“At least he didn’t lock me up in a dungeon and torture me, right?” I joked.

She didn’t laugh at that, instead putting her arms around me but I jerked her away.

“I don’t like being touched.”

“Oh of course, sorry.”

“Let’s just go back.” I said.

“Alright.”

She reached out to give me another hug but stopped herself before she did, instead just getting up and taking the lead.

Past Scars: Part II

Past Scars

Part II: Old Flames

“What are you doing here Roxanne?”

“I wanted to see you.” She said, her voice almost pleading. 

“The organization—”

“Doesn’t know I’m here. You know that they give me some leeway, after all it’s not like I can run away. Plus it’s hard to keep track of a girl with my powers.” I lowered my knife and let her go from my telekinetic grasp.

“What do you want?”I asked.

“For one to see you, it’s been so long…” She came a step forward and put her hands on my hips but I brushed them off. She seemed disappointed by that. “I guess we’re not that close anymore.” She sighed.

“You didn’t just come here to fuck did you?”

“Of course not.”

“What is it then?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You got away Jaime, shook off the drugs. How did you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I had help, but I was half unconscious. I don’t fucking remember what happened, okay?”

“What kind of help? Who was it?”

“I don’t know what he did… and I sure as hell don’t know if I should tell you.” I sighed. She grabbed one of my hand and squeezed it. “Fuck it.” I sighed. “His name’s Mace, he does shit I don’t understand, some of it got me off the drugs.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s here too. I know, fucking coincidence.”

“Maybe it’s fate.”

I rolled my eyes. If fate was real she had some shit to explain about how my life had turned out.

“Let me get him.”

I went back into the house. I called Mace out and he came over from hanging out with Tyler and Yougen, both of whom also hadn’t had any visitors either. I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the corner of the garden where Roxanne was still waiting.

“I need you to do something.” I said.

“Sure, what is it?” He asked, like there was nothing weird happening. 

“Repeat that shit you did to get me off drugs.”

“What drugs?”

“When we first met?”

“When was that again?”

“Last summer”

“Are you sure about that? I have a blank.”

“Great, as always you’re so fucking useful.” I sighed. Despite my comment, Mace didn’t seem to mind. Sometimes the guy was a real doormat, letting people step all over him. His eyes fell on Roxanne.

“Hi. Do I know you?” He asked with a smile before looking at me. “Do I know her too?”

“You don’t.” Roxanne said rolling her eyes. “Are you sure its him? You’re not fucking with me, are you?”

“No, his brain’s just fried from whatever mojo he’s got, I’m surprised he can remember how to tie his shoes most days… Right now he’s useless to you. Probably take a day or two for his brain to get better.”

“Great.” Roxanne said. “I’m due tomorrow afternoon and it’s a ten hour travel back. No way I can wait that long.”

We didn’t get to brainstorm any more as Caroline came toward us, gave them the signal to shush.

“Hey guys.” She said jovially. “Dinner’s served if you’re hungry.”

Roxanne introduced herself as my cousin under a fake name before shaking Caroline’s hand and quickly jumping onto small talks about the meal ahead. We all went into the kitchen and sat at the absurdly massive table, which didn’t see a whole lot of use. We mostly ate at the kitchen’s breakfast counter or scattered about doing other stuff. Nobody questioned Roxanne’s presence.

“I should go.” Roxanne said once dinner was over. “Walk me out?”

I nodded we left the house together, walking toward the gate.

“What we had… Was it ever real for you?” She asked after a moment of silence.

“I don’t know.” I said with a shrug. Despite everything that had happened between us, I still didn’t know what if anything I felt about girls…

“Really?”

“I was lonely and hurt, you were there. You helped with that and you got what you wanted. I don’t know what else you want me to say…”

“Is that really how you think of me? That I was just using you, that it was just sex?”

“It’s what everyone does.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, coming up to me and wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

“What for? It was a fair trade I guess…”

“I’m sorry that’s how you feel. And while I doubt you’ll really believe me, for what it’s worth, I genuinely do— did love you.”

I just nodded. She was right, I wasn’t sure I believed her. She probably was just trying to score some more points hoping I could help. And really she was the one who’d taught me how survival was the most important thing, no matter the cost…

“I guess this trip was for nothing.” She sighed as the main gate came in sight. “I’ll have to find another way.”

“Wait. I think I know someone else who might help.”

“You do?”

“It’s not going to be magical miracle cure, might not work and even if it does it’ll take a while.”

I took her hand and guided her to the doctor’s clinic. Thankfully Ravenhold grounds were distinctive enough and filled with enough landmarks I’d become easily able to find my way around using my sixth sense.

“Jaime, you know I can see a doctor.” She said, seeing the clinic.

“She’s different. We can trust her.”

She didn’t protest any further and we came into the clinic, signing up. We had to wait a few minutes before the doc called us into her exam room.

“Hello, Jaime, how can I help you?” She asked, looking at Roxanne.

“I need a favor.”

“What kind of favor might that be?”

“Something you need to keep secret. My friend here needs help and if anyone learn you did help, she’ll be in trouble. If the Legion or anyone but us knows the people she’s trying to get away from will probably know too.”

I’d been with the organization long enough to know what happened to those of us who had thought themselves smart enough to get help. The organization had eyes everywhere. Dead parahumans and missing doctors was typically the result of trying to get help… She inspected me for a moment, then spent a moment focused on Roxanne.

“Tell me everything.”

So I did, told her about the organization, about the drug, about its effect and what little we knew of the organization. To my surprise, she agreed to help Roxanne and keep it a secret. She took quite a lot of blood, leaving Roxanne feeling woozy when we left.

“You really think she can do it?” She asked, crashing more than sitting on a bench outside before putting the meal bar doc venus had given her into her mouth.

“She collects medical diplomas like you collect bugs.” I said. “If anyone can, it’s her.”

“Thank you.”

“I shouldn’t have left you behind. If I hadn’t maybe Mace could’ve fixed you too.”

“You had no way of knowing that.”

“But—”

I didn’t get to finish my thought as she pressed her lips on mine. I didn’t return the kiss and she took a step back awkwardly.

“You don’t have to defend what you did.” She said. “All that matters is that you’re alive and you keep fighting on. That’s what I’ll do. I just hope we’ll get to meet again when we’re both free.”

I nodded.

“Thank you for your help.”

With that she vanished, leaving me there alone. Her power was more than just invisibility, she faded from my sixth sense as well.

Past Scars: Part I

Jaime Arc II: Past Scars

Part I: Out of the Past

Three weeks later

Apparently, I wasn’t dying. Or at least not as fast as I’d feared. Rather than an uptick in Vaughan Syndrome, the blood had just been a tumor on my lungs popping or something, I sure as hell couldn’t follow all the medical jargon the alien had doctor used, but apparently it wasn’t the dangerous kind.

“How are you feeling?” Doc Venus as she was nicknamed asked me, she had a proper name but I couldn’t fucking pronounce it. Like all Venusians she was this huge blue lizard thing with tentacles on their face. Despite her species she was even more protective and clingy than Doctor Wallace had been. Always running tests and check up on me.

“Fine.”

“Any side effect from the increase in Codeine? has the pain subsisted? Have you been feeling dizzy?” She continued to drill me on side effects for a minute.

“I’m fine.”

“Alright.”

“Unless you can fix my stupid eyes, there’s nothing else I need.”

“Sadly that is currently out of my capabilities, but if it’s any consolation cybernetic eyes should reach the public market by twenty-nineteen. Although some models already exist they’re mostly custom jobs by inventor-type mutants and have only had limited medical testing and no mass-fabrication.” She went on for a moment about how amazing the technology was, a common thing with her. She’d often get lost geeking out about medical advancements or telling me how she’d become the first alien nobel prize winner for her creation of the first malaria vaccine.

“Can I go now?” I said interrupting her.

“Oh, of course.”

I grabbed my bag and got out the door. When I came out of the office, Mace was waiting for me in the waiting room. Over the last few weeks he’d metamorphosed into a lost little puppy, following me around whenever.

“Still here?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought you had that thing with Amber today.”

“I figured you might want to tag along.”

I shrugged. It wasn’t like I had anything to do. I followed him to the training center where he went into a dojo. Some of the weapon-inclined students would congregate there to practice their skills. Mace and Amber among them. At least they weren’t arguing or fighting and dragging me into their crap anymore. I grabbed my tablet out of my bag and put on one of the history audiobook I’d gotten, focusing on the lecture.

As the two sparred, a loud beeping interrupted them coming from all three of us. I dug through my jeans and found the source was my ID. The electronic band on it displaying a message; ‘RETURN TO DORM ASAP’

“What’s going on?” Amber asked. “Says we should return to our dorm.”

“Are we the only one who got that?” Mace asked.

“It’s probably a surprise dorm inspection.” One of the other students who’d trained alongside them said. “They do them from time to time.”

“We better go back then.”

They grabbed their stuff and I followed them to the dorm where everyone else was huddled in the common room. A minute later, there was a knock on the door and Caroline the cyborg went to open it.

“Hello Mr. Martin.” She said.

“Good evening Caroline.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m doing a routine inspection.” He said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.”

He walked around the place for a while, looking everything over.

“Is everything satisfactory?”

“Some of the bedrooms could use a little work and there’s an unauthorized pet, which miss Yeun should have cleared with administration beforehand, but everything is fine. Now to the other reason I came here.”

“Other reason?”

He opened the door and a crowd of people who’d been waiting outside poured into the building, meeting with the other students.

“What’s going on?” I asked Mace the only person whom I’d told about my eyes.

“Everybody’s parents just showed up.”

“Not everybody’s.” I answered.

Thankfully my only living parent hadn’t shown up, not that she was allowed within a hundred meters of me… But that didn’t mean nobody came for me… Even with my terrible sight, I recognized her immediately. There weren’t any other eight feet tall black women I’d met before.

“Columbia.” I said, greeting her.

“You can call me Reagan, you know.” She said.

“Why are you here?”

“Thought I’d do a little check up on you. Mind if we find a quiet spot to talk?”

I nodded and guided her out of the house, leaving Mace behind, and into a secluded spot of the backyard where we sat on a stone bench.

“You look like you’ve adjusted well. Surprisingly you’ve yet to receive a warning for bad behavior, unlike some other people. But how are you?”

“Fine. The food is better, the beds too. Can’t complain, I’ve had worse.”

“I’ve noticed you’ve put on some weight. Doctor Wallace will be glad to hear that.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because in a way I’ve been where you were. Before I was Legion, I was part of the Liberty League. I was a messed up kids with dead parents who was used by other people and lashed out at the world.”

From the parahuman history class I’d learned all about the League, once upon a time the United States official superhero team, they’d done all sorts of horrible shit in the name of fighting those evil communists. Including rounding up people for supporting the wrong people or liking superheroes, invading foreign countries and all kind of evil shit that people justify in the name of patriotism.

“Jaime, I need to know. What happened to you after you left the detention center?” She asked, surprising me. “When you appeared, you were stronger than before and you knew how to fight. That doesn’t happen by chance.”

“Nothing.”

“I don’t believe that for a second. Did you know your foster parents disappeared along with the other kids you were with?”

I didn’t. After I’d gotten away, I had done everything to avoid seeing or thinking about them… Especially not Roxanne.

“I didn’t.” I answered with a shrug.

“Please, tell me what you know.”

“I don’t know anything.”

She sighed. “If you remember anything, you can contact me at this number.”

I took the piece of paper and she left after telling wishing me good luck. I stayed there a moment, considering her request. I didn’t really know anything, it had never been my place to know after all, just obey.

I got up only to be interrupted as someone spoke from beside me.

“Jaime…” A voice I hadn’t heard in a long time said. I turned around and looked at her as she came out of her invisibility. Although I could only see the blurry shape of her, I immediately recognized that bracelet she always wore, the last memento of her mother. “I heard what Columbia said… I guess it’s kind of a funny timing for me to show up…”

With my powers, I grabbed her by her clothes and smashed her against the wall, raising one of my knives to her throat.

“What are you doing here Roxanne?”

Origins: Jaime 3

Into Darkness: Part Three

Four Years Ago

The routine continued, everyday Mr. Neville would give me orders but now I obeyed them. Whenever the Nevilles would be away Roxanne would sneak down and give me something to drink and eat.

Out of spite or just to make sure I knew my place, they left me to rot without dosing me with the drug, letting me endure two days of pain, fever and vomiting before they administered a new dose. After a few hours, I’d stabilized enough that Mr. Neville came back down into the dungeon.

“Do you understand what will happen if do anything that makes you skip a dose?” He asked.

“Yes…”

“We receive the doses for you and the others less than twenty-four hours before administration. The authorities have never encountered the compound, if you run to them, you’ll die before they synthesize an antidote.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” I’d asked the question a thousand time before but never had he bothered answering…

“Your kind are nothing but weapons masquerading as human. We simply reshape you to accept that fact and make you useful. Now, you can show me you understand your place or spend another few days in here without food. Your choice.”

“What do you want from me?”

He didn’t answer, unlocking the chains before ordering me to follow him. We left my cell and into another cell where a naked man was chained to the ceiling, eyes covered and his mouth gagged.

“Who is that?” I asked. At the sound of my voice the prisoner started lashing.

“I don’t know, I don’t care. He’s merely someone that needs to be disposed of. That will be your duty.”

“What did he do?”

“Doesn’t matter either. It’s not our job to question orders from higher up.” He opened a case and took out a knife, handing it to me holding it by the blade. I glared for a second at the weapon, my brain thinking a thousand different scenarios at once.

“You can kill me if you’d like but if you do that both you and Roxanne will die slowly from withdrawal.” He said without a hint of threat or fear in his voice. “Unless you kill yourself first, but I doubt it. You’re a survivor, it’s why we chose you.”

“Why should I care about Rox—”

“We know she’s been visiting you, feeding you even. You can do as I say or you’ll both share your cell as punishment.”

I took the knife and gripped it tightly, my palms moist and my hand shaking slightly. Mr. Neville took my hand and corrected my grip.

“Severing the carotid arteries on both side of the neck will result in rapid loss of consciousness.” he said casually like he was talking about some damn cooking tip. “You can also sever the spinal cord at the base of the skull. With the right kind of knife you can slip it right through the rib cage and right into the heart. If you had a gun, a point blank shot to the head or heart will do. Don’t bother with choking someone, getting the right hold to shut down the arteries can be very difficult and otherwise it takes a long time to take effect. It takes at least two minutes without oxygen for brain damage to begin, death much longer. Consciousness will resume as soon as blood flow is restored. Now you know what to do.”

I let the knife go and grabbed it with my powers.

“No powers.” Mr. Neville intoned. “You do this the old fashioned way.”

“But—”

“You’ve already showed us your power, we’ve seen you kill people with it.” He said, the security guard at the facility coming back to mind. “But now, you have nothing to hide behind. Not your power to make it remote and no excuse for why you did it. It’s you or him.”

I stood there for a minute, frozen in place. My mind desperately trying to find a solution but finding none. Just to drive the last nail in the coffin, Mr. Neville took the knife and put it in my hand, forcibly closing my fingers around the hilt.

“You can go back in your cell or you can go upstairs; get a shower, change clothes and eat real food. It all depends on your choice here. Or you can do it for Roxanne, repay her kindness.” He whispered to me.

“For Roxanne…” I muttered. But deep down I knew I was lying, I just wanted the pain to stop…

“Carotid’s here.” He said, pointing to the right area of the neck on the prisoner.

I did it. First the right and then the left. The prisoner struggled for a moment, gargling blood before going limp. My fingers were covered in blood and I dropped the knife, feeling my stomach twist into a knot before ejecting what little was left inside.

“You did well.” He put a hand on my shoulder and I broke down, falling to my knee and crying.

He left me there. When the tears stopped I noticed the door was left open. I left the cell and saw that the door to the entrance had also been left open. I came up the stairs, my knees weak and shaking and came into a closet, behind a long rack of clothes. I walked out and into the kitchen where Ms. Neville was cooking, I recognized her making pancakes batter immediately. In the week before they’d revealed themselves as pure evil, she’d often made them in the morning…

“Good morning Jaime.” She said with a smile. “I’m so glad to see you. There’s a stack of freshly washed clothes waiting for you in the bathroom.”

I didn’t protest or question anything, dragging my feet to the downstairs bathroom and washing away the filth that caked my body after weeks of imprisonment… The clothes she’d left for me were like the softest thing I’d ever touched, still warm from the dryer and carrying the perfumed smell of fabric softener. When I came out, Ms. Neville didn’t break character, remaining that friendly maternal housewife even though I knew it was all an act. After breakfast, I excused myself upstairs and into my room. Roxanne was there, sitting on her bed with an ipod.

The moment she saw me, she practically ran toward me and hugged me tightly. I wanted to shove her away but I didn’t have the strength left in me to do so…

“They let you out?”

I weakly nodded.

“I killed someone…” I said, my voice shaking. “They said they’d punish you too if I didn’t…” My hands were shaking and I wanted to cry again.

She took my fingers in her hands and squeezed them hard.

“Stop it.” She ordered softly. “You did nothing wrong, you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“How can I—”

“As much as they sound horrible and bigoted, they’re right about us. It’s easier if you think of yourself as nothing but a weapon like they want you to. A knife isn’t responsible for what the person who wield it does. We just focus on surviving and keep hope. It’s all we can do. We can find a way to become human again when we’re safe from here…”

That day, Roxanne held me tightly as I cried myself to sleep, still shaking from the things I’d done…

Origins: Jaime 2

Into Darkness: Part Two

Four years ago

“Subject F-19a6.” The voice coming from the speaker said, stirring me from my slumber.

I stumbled off the uncomfortable mattress and to my feet. The cold concrete floor of the cell chilled my toes. With the days of pain I’d endured after the tests they’d performed on me and the time I’d spent in the cell, I’d lost track of how long I’d been there.

“Lift the weight.”

I stepped toward the large lead weight that left on the ground and extended an arm, letting my powers run through it. The weight raised a few inches above the ground. I could feel my power straining in my mind. I struggled with it as long as I could until my power shut down.

“Six point nine seconds improvement.” The voice noted. “Impressive.”

The voice went silent only to be replaced a minute later by the sound of footsteps beyond the cell door. The small opening in the door opened and a tray of food was passed through. A bottle of water, some disgusting loaf of unrecognizable foodstuff, like always.

Every day was the same. Or I assumed it was, no natural light or clock to tell me the time. I went back on the bed, hoping it’d end soon…

***

The routine repeated itself several more times, I don’t even know if it was once, twice or three times a day, before it was broken. That time, the door opened for food but there was none, only a folded piece of paper. I took it and unfolded the note.

“Be ready to escape. Stand Back!” Was scrawled on the paper in a hasty handwriting.

I blinked but didn’t hesitate. Whatever that was, it was my only chance to escape this hell… I retreated to the end of the room and soon after the door blew off its hinges. Although it flew at me, I didn’t have to concentrate that my powers  batted it away.

I little dazed I stepped out of the cell only to run into a frazzled ginger woman wearing a lab coat, dark bags hung under her eyes and she shook lightly.

“Good you’re out…” She muttered in a panicked look. “You have to help me get out of here! Quick before the guards arri—”

“Wait!” I stopped her. “Where are we? Who are you?”

“I’m Meg… I’m a researcher, they’ve been keeping me captive same as you… Forced me to do things…” She said, eyes tearing up. “But you have powers you can get us out.”

I looked back at the exploded door.

“I smuggled some chemicals from the lab to free you. But I need you to get past the guards.”

I didn’t have time to consider her words that shouting down the hall caught my attention, a handful of men in dark military-style outfits coming our way, armed. They raised their gun at me and I froze. Flashes and roar of gunfire consumed all my senses And I closed my eyes, expecting the worst…

But nothing happened…

“Damn mutant!” One of the men shouted. “Overwhelm tactics; stingers.”

I opened my eyes and found the bullets riddling the hallways’ walls but I didn’t have a scratch. Meg who’d hidden behind me had been spared. I looked back at the men and saw them readying grenades. I didn’t even need to think; I raised an arm and held them, the men screaming as the grenades exploded in their hands. One second they’d been standing there, the next there was blood everywhere. I stood there, paralyzed in front of the scene…

“We have to go!” Meg screamed. “Before others arrive.” She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me a few steps before my brain could wake up.

We ran and she lead us, knowing the complex we’d found ourselves in, making us pass through corridors, labs and other rooms. Guards intercepted us, but I dealt with them easily, pelting them with whatever I could get my telekinesis on. My powers were nothing like they’d been during Juvie; I was stronger, my focus was clearer and I could sense things… Before it took me hours to recuperate after using my powers, now minutes was all I needed.

“We’re almost there. Past this door we can steal a car and get out.” Meg said.  

She opened a door with a card taken from a guard and we found ourselves in a hangar only to be faced by a small army of guards.

“Bravo!” A man said, clapping as he come forward from the group. Unlike the rest, he was dressed in a tailored suit. “Most impressive.” At his side I recognized Mr. Neville.

“You bastard…” I grunted at him. “I’ll kill you!”

I raised my arm to get a better grip at him but something hit me in the spine.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.” Meg declared, whispering in my ear. The panic in her tone was gone. “Thank you for your cooperation, this demonstration was just what I needed.”

I couldn’t move, my muscles tightening. I tried to focus my powers but I couldn’t find that space in my head where I called the force from…

“As you saw, the enhancement is permanent it’s been three weeks since the treatment was administered and the subject is still improving.” She began, speaking as a matter of fact. “Basic parahuman abilities have been augmented by a ten-fold level, adrenaline fuels the ability further, secondary abilities have been fully developed and refractory periods have been shortened by eighty-three point seventy-nine percent. Subject is still healthy and psychologically stable.”

“You surprise me, Circe. It seems my wife’s faith in your abilities was well placed after all.”

“Enough with your empty praises, Alcastiel.” She snapped. “Our business is concluded. You know what your part of the deal is. Don’t disappoint me.”

“What about the test subject?”

“Kill her, keep her, release her. She’s yours to deal with.” Circe said. “The paralysis is only temporary.”

“Mr. Neville,” the man she’d called Alcastiel began. “I think I’ll leave her in your custody. Give her the standard treatment, make her cooperate. I believe she’ll be a great asset.”

“Yes sir!” He answered, nervously.

He retrieved a suitcase from the trunk of a car, opened it and came toward me holding a syringe of muddy orange liquid.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” He said as he jabbed the tip on it in my arm.

***

Bound, gagged and blindfolded they dragged me out of the complex I’d been held in, into a car and then into a basement after a long drive. Every day, Mr. Neville would come down into the basement and give me menial orders, meaningless tasks. I’d tried screaming for help and fighting, but all that lead to was agony as he prodded me with some instrument.

I was half-passed out from the hunger, I wasn’t fed if I didn’t obey, when the cringing of the door brought me to my senses.

“I told you before. You should’ve listened…” Someone said, the glare behind them hid their features but I recognized her voice. Roxanne took a few steps forwards and out of the light. “If you just do as they say, everything’s fine.”

“What the hell is going on here?” I said, grabbing her by her shirt.

“You’ve become a weapon. The sooner you accept that, the easier it’ll be for you.”

“You—” 

“You can let me go and get something to eat or I can knock you out.” She said, taking a candy bar out of her pocket. “What will it be? They’re gone, we’ve got some time.”

I let go of her shirt and slid down the ground. She opened the wrapper and snapped the bar into bite sized piece, putting one in mouth’s reach.

“What do they even want?” I asked, after a few pieces.

“What every secret organization wants; Power, control, money, loyalty.” She said with a shrug. “Doesn’t matter really. It’s not our job to think, to question.”

“Can’t we escape?”

“No.”

“Why n—”

“The drug, the orange one. Did you get it?” She asked.

I nodded.

“You’ll need it every three days from now on. If you don’t it’ll hurt… At least until you croak. I tried going off, didn’t work. Almost died from the puking alone, and it was just starting.”

“So what, we just become their bitches?”

“We survive, it’s all that matters.”

Origins: Jaime 1

Into Darkness: Part One

Four years ago

The clock ticked loudly as I sat in the corridor next to the director’s office. I’d been in the parahuman detention center for nine months now, ever since my power had manifested. Over my left hand, the stress ball they’d given me floated a few inches above my fingers even though it was just foam, it took all of my will to keep it floating.

“Miss Santiago.” The Director said in his thick gravelly voice, drawing me out of my focus and making the ball fall down. “Come on in.” It wasn’t a suggestion it was an order.

I grabbed the ball from the floor and came into the office with him. A man I’d never seen before was standing by the desk, dressed in a monkey suit with oiled hair. As I sat down, the smell of tobacco, which had long ago tained the room itched my nose, reminding me of my own father… I grit my teeth at the memory.

“This is Mr. Neville, he’s one of the foster parents whom we work with rehabilitating people like you.” The director explained.

“Foster parent?”

“You’re being released into his custody starting today.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Jaime.” Mr. Neville said, giving me an all too wide smile. “I hope you’ll fit in right at our home.”

“Of course, we expect you to behave exceptionally.” The director snapped. “You’re lucky to get a new chance after what you did to your last foster parents.”

“It was an accident…” I grumbled. “I can barely move a stupid foam ball now.”

As much as my previous foster father had deserved it, I hadn’t meant to crack his skull… My powers had just decided to manifest for the first time as he ‘disciplined’ me for dropping the milk carton and had sent a the granite dining table crashing into him…

Because of my non-answer, the director glared at me, all through my stay he’d treated me like a criminal.

“I’ll behave, I promise.”

“Good. We’ll hold you to it.” He said with a satisfied grin. “Go pack your things now.”

I nodded and went back to my bunk where an old sport bag waited for me. I didn’t have much to pack; everything I’d owned had gone up in flames when my father’s house had burnt to the ground, the same night he’d passed away and had left me scarred from all the burns. What little I had was just clothes that my previous fosters and juvie had been generous enough to give me. Once it was all in the bag, I went to the entrance where Mr. Neville was waiting for me past the security gate. The guard let me through without a second thought.

“If we hurry, we’ll make it in time for dinner. Do you like chicken pot pie?” He said putting a hand on my shoulder. Which I jerked away.

“I do.” I lied. There was little more I hated than flaky pastry, but I had to behave.

He nodded and we went out the door and into the large parking lot. He guided us to a boring looking gray car and sat down in the passenger seat while I sat next to him.

As he drove through the suburbs, I examined him. There wasn’t anything remarkable about him; he was tall but not notably so, he wasn’t muscled or big, just sort of there. Everything about him was boring and average. He sort of gave a car salesman kind of vibe.

But what did he want with me? That was what I wanted to know… People don’t do kind things for no reason; they want something in return. At least it probably wasn’t for my body, there was no way he couldn’t be disgusted by the scars… It was probably money, he had to be paid a fortune to handle one of the ‘tough’ kids with a history of violence and superpowers.

“This is it.” He said parking in front of a yellow-painted bungalow. “Your new home.”

We got out of the car and I followed him inside where a middle aged woman came to us. She gave a hug to Mr. Neville and then turned toward me.

“There you are.” She said with a large smile. “You have no idea how happy we are that you’re finally here.”

“Right…”

“We’ve been waiting for months to get our newest foster child. Oh but where are my manners? I’m Matilda and if you let me, I’ll be your mom from here on out.”

I nodded. She was probably full of shit.

“John my dear, why don’t you show her her room? I’m sure Roxanne would love to meet her.”

“Of course.” Mr. Neville answered.

He went upstairs and I followed him. He knocked on the door of one of the rooms and a girl with long black hair opened it a moment later. She was about the same age I was. She wore a baggy hoodie and ripped jeans.

“Roxanne, this is Jaime. As we’ve talked, she’s going to be joining us.”

“Okay.” Was all Roxanne said before stepping aside.

Mr. Neville gently pushed me forward and I went in. The room had two beds and one side was decorated with posters while the other had been left blank.

“This is your bed.” Roxanne said pointing at the undecorated side.

“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” Mr. Neville said before leaving us.

I put my bag on my assigned bed and took out my things, putting the clothes in the nearby dresser.

“So… How are they?”

“I’ve had much worse.” Was all she said with a shrug. “Just do as they say and everything’s fine.”

I nodded and took her words in. Soon after we were called for dinner and even though I hated chicken pot pie, I forced myself to eat. Better make a good impression rather than risk being sent back to juvie…

***

Days passed without anything happening. The Nevilles were strict about doing tasks when asked, but that was it. Roxanne remained weirdly distant, answering my questions vaguely, she’d also often disappear in the middle of the day without a word. Rather than send us to school, the Ms. Neville was in charge of teaching us.

After about a week, Mr. Neville had me take a ride with him to the doctor’s office for a checkup, which I didn’t protest even though I couldn’t stand doctors. He drove us to a small private clinic and we sat down in the near empty waiting area, it was only the secretary and us there.

“While we wait, why don’t I get you something to drink? What do you like?” He asked.

“Lemonade?” I said with a shrug. “But anything’s fine.”

He nodded and got up, going down the corridor before coming out a minute later with an open bottle of lemonade with a straw in it. I took it and sipped on it absently as we waited. For an empty clinic, it was taking forever.

After a while, my eyes struggled to stay open. I moved my arms to rub them and my whole body felt lethargic. I stumbled onto my feet but tumbled, Mr. Neville catching me.

“Jaime, are you alright?”

“No I—”

I didn’t finish my sentence that everything went dark.

***

I woke up with my head buzzing, everything in my sight was wobbly or maybe that was just my head. I tried to move, but something was restraining me.

“She’s awake.” Someone said. I looked at the source to see a woman in surgical gear.

“Very well.” A man answered, coming closer, wearing the same medical gown and mask.

“Where am I?” I mumbled, my mouth pasty and struggling to move. I tried to move but the restraints covered my whole body.

“It’ll be easier if you don’t resist.” The man said, putting a hand firmly on my chest to stop me squirming. “I’d say you won’t feel a thing, but I’d by lying. I’m really sorry for that.”

“Doctors. Hurry it up, we have three more subjects to go through.” A third voice said from behind me, this one also feminine.

“Of course, director Circe.” The woman answered.

She came closer with a large syringe and hold my arm with her free hand. I tried to squirm but the man held my arm down. In the panic I didn’t even think to use my power… The needle went into my arm and soon my body burst into searing pain and I lost myself in the screams.

Dying Light Redux: Part VII

Dying Light

Part VII: Useless

I woke up early, stirred awake by one of those damn nightmares again. My nightwear stuck to my skin and my heart beat out of my chest. After all the poking and prodding by the doctor last evening, I’d dreamt of my my father. Of what he used to do…

Even though the sun wasn’t even up, I noticed that Ahti wasn’t in their bed. Their blanket also wasn’t in the bed. I scanned around with my powers and quickly noticed that my alarm clock had moved away from its place at my bedside and was now laying in a bajillion pieces. In addition, I was acutely aware of the hole I’d made in the drywall… Crap, this was going to be a pain if this got out that I’d lost control…

Rather than remain in bed, I got up and put on a pair of pants and a long sleeved shirt before leaving my room. The early birds were already up and cooking. Caroline offered me a plate of pancake and I accepted it graciously. Fuck, for once the universe was good; I would’ve killed for good pancakes and Caroline’s smelled fucking amazing… Doc Wallace said that I should enjoy the small things. Those small things are definitely pancakes.

I went to get it when something bumped into me. I looked down only to see the blurry orange, black and blue spotted form of Ahti.

“O-Oh sorry!” They said.

As annoying as bumping into them was, at least it gave me a chance to fix the alarm clock mess before it blew up. And the whole calling them an it. I didn’t really care about this whole pronoun thing, but it was worth going along with it if only to avoid pissing off dark and clawy some more.

“I should apologize to you, not the other way around.” I said.

“Why, what did you do?”

“I was being ignorant before.” Rather than begin with the alarm clock, I chose to take the opportunity to fix the pronoun thing. “I’ve also known Rowan as an ‘it’ in my mind, as well. I didn’t know any better, sorry. It’s easier for me to just label something and not worry about it.”

“Oh. That’s okay. I’m sure they don’t mind, either. Well, they probably do, but it’s okay with me. I go by ‘they’ pronouns for now. Rowan does, too.” I already knew that, but I nodded anyway.

“Do you mind if we start over, then?”

“Start over?”

“From the beginning. I introduce myself and you do the same. Since we share the same room, it wouldn’t hurt, don’t you think?”

“Does that mean you won’t throw anything at me anymore?” They said, their voice rather shaky. Were they afraid of me? “You did it in your sleep… Annabelle said you can’t control it?”

“They’re right. It’s nothing personal. Just means I’m having some bad dreams.” I silently prayed they wouldn’t ask for details.

“Oh. I don’t like to be alone when that happens. It’s scary being by myself here.”

“Well, if you need to talk, I’m here.” I offered. Playing nice is easy, often it’s a lot less work than being a jerk really. Beside what were the chances Ahti would actually care to talk to me? “Just, like, don’t tell the others, okay? I don’t think they’re as forgiving as you. Also, if I’m throwing things around, please wake me up. It’s draining using my ability even while I’m asleep.” I stopped myself before I’d get carried away.

“It’s a little shocking, but okay. I’ll try to.”

Got to give it to Itharii, they are very easy to string along. I probably should’ve felt bad for taking advantage of their niceness to fix shit, but I didn’t. I’d stopped worrying about what others felt a long time ago.

Our little conversation done, I finally grabbed my plate and dug into it. I was almost done when the door to Mace’s room opened and he came out. He was one of the easy one to tell apart with my powers; Caroline had her metal leg, Jaeger had that piercing, Mace had his sword, Charlie had her hidden weapons. Oddly enough I couldn’t actually feel the sword itself, just whatever he used to carry it around. As he came into the common room, he seemed hesitant, just sort of taking the ordinary scenery in.

“Morning, Mace…” I said, walking up to him.

“Who…are you?” He asked, muttering the words.

“Is this a joke?”

“No, it’s not…” He said, trailing off before starting again after a moment. “Just tell me what’s going on here.”

“You forgot about everything?”

“Some things…”

“I forgot this was a problem.” I grumbled. Mace had his own issues, it was like he wasn’t always the same person, he wouldn’t remember things or act strange. “Come on, let’s go outside and talk.”

I nodded at the door and he followed me outside where we sat down on some of the patio chairs lying about.

“What do you remember?” I asked.

“My…sword.” He took it off his back, laid it on his knees and traced the edge of it with his fingers.

“Anything else?”

“Well I think I—” Although he began a sentence, he didn’t finish it.

The patio door opened and someone else came in. Amber I think her name was? She was huge, carried massive metallic bracelets around her arm and against the Rook she’d wielded a massive fucking sword like it was nothing. Mace’s head turned her way and he stupidly stared.

“What’re you looking at?” She snapped.

“N-Nothing.” He muttered before looking away.

“You’re so weak, Mace.”

“I am not…”

“You keep trying to hit it off with people, but you’ve got nothing to offer it looks like.” Amber said, her voice just dripping with contempt.

What the fuck was their deal?

“Y-Yeah, well…you’re no different!” Mace answered, like an idiot.

“What’s that?” It wasn’t a question, more like a ‘fuck you’ pronounced differently.

“I saw you with Annabelle. You think she wants to see this side of you?”

Who the fuck was Annabelle? And what the hell was this, middle school?

“I’m gonna fucking break you.” Amber snarled.

Amber practically leaped forward and Mace just sat there uselessly. He even closed his damn eyes. The only thing that saved his sorry ass was that I took pity on him. Okay, not pity really. He could be useful to me, if he got his act together again. With my power I grabbed Amber’s stupid armlets and pushed her to the ground with all my force. She might have been strong, but I was stronger with my powers.

That done, I grabbed Mace’s arm and dragged him back inside and up to my room. Amber couldn’t get in without bashing the magnetic lock down so it was safe-ish.

Even though I’d only ran a little, I was already out of breath and feeling dizzy. Damn shitty health… Mace had to see it as he came closer and put a hand on my shoulder, making me cringe, but I didn’t remove it.

“Yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast before.” I said with a half hearted laugh.

“Did you hold her back somehow?”

“I had to. I was lucky to pick up that she was wearing those metal bands…”

“Well…thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Mace.”

“This your room?” He asked looking around.

“Yes, for now.” I took a few steps and sat down on my bed. Mace grabbed the desk’s chair and sat on that.

“So who are you?” He asked after a moment.

“I’m Jaime.” Capes had given me the nickname of Sliver back when I used to pick fights with them for shit and giggles, but I wasn’t going to be a freaking dork.

“I’m Mace, nice to meet you!” He said happily before offering his hand. I didn’t take it. One hand on my shoulder and bumping into an alien was plenty enough physical contact for one day.

“You really don’t remember…” I sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

“I guess I deserve it for how I treated you.” Karma’s kind of a bitch like that. I’d finally gotten someone to help and now he was useless.

“No, don’t think that. It’s just gotten a little worse, I think.”

“Any reason why?”

“Using my sword is a little demanding. Plus I don’t know how long the seal can hold…It might be why this is happening.”

“What’s this about a seal?” He hadn’t ever mentioned that before…

“Um, nothing.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“It’s important, isn’t it? Will it take you away?”

“It’s not important. Not right now, anyway.”

Great. Now he was keeping secrets… Just what I needed. There was a long period of awkward silence between us until he decided to break it.

“What am I supposed to do? I mean about Amber.”

“She won’t act that way when there’s others around, I bet so you should be okay for now. I’ll also…look out for you.” Push come to shove, I was confident I could kick Amber’s teeth in. I’d fought much bigger fishes back on the street. “It would be nice if you could remember us, though…” I said, hoping to prod his memory.

“Um, us?”

“W-Well…”

“Were we…?”

“Yeah, for a while.”

Nothing big had happened really. I couldn’t stand letting him touch me sober and he was too much of a ‘gentleman’ to just get it over with when I wasn’t.

“Oh. I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve said some awful things to you and treated you terribly. Maybe it’s for the best that you don’t remember all of that.”

“Did…I change?”

“No, I did. I got paranoid and scared when my ability started to get stronger and my health was deteriorating. The only thing I knew was to push you away and distance myself from everyone. It was only a short while ago that I realized that I couldn’t do it anymore…even though it would hurt them terribly if something happened to me…” I felt a tightness in my chest… I couldn’t tell how much of that was bullshit and how much I actually meant…

“No one should be alone during that sort of thing. I’m sorry you had to be.”

“I’ve learned my lesson, even though I’ve never been a social person to begin with.”

“I appreciate having you around, ma’am.” I gave her my best smile.

“Likewise, Mace…”

Guess that counted for something, right?

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Dying Light Redux: Part VI

Dying Light

Part VI: F’n Mace

The downside of eating with the others was that I had to endure Mace’s blatant pining for Allison, clearly trying to get into their pants. Clearly it hadn’t taken him long to get over me. He was even doing that whole white knight routine of his; carrying their book, acting all nice and friendly.

Our first class after lunch break was a complete joke; Superhero ethics. As if someone could make violence all pretty and moral. Only morons who’ve never had to fight for their lives could think of such stupid things. Doesn’t matter if you don’t kill someone, you’re still going to fuck them up bad and really, is death worse than paralysis?

So I mostly pretended to listen to the whole thing. The only thing of note to happen wasn’t in the lesson but rather the dude who joined us. German guy named Jaeger McFakeLastName-Smith. There was something in the way he carried himself, a tenseness in his body language I could feel through my power. Just like me, he didn’t belong here with all the cape wannabes. Still, he was none of my fucking business. It’d be probably best if we just ignored each others. Last thing I needed was to get involved in some gangbanger or would-be villain’s bullshit.

When the so-called ethics class ended, it was time to go back to Mr. Martin’s English and mathematics class. Which was just the tortuous druggery I expected. Two new students came in. Apparently today was the day where people came in late. First of the two was Allen, some dumb motherfucker who immediately managed to get everyone to hate him. Which was good, if they focused on him, then that would give me breathing room.

Then there was Sage whom I had no fucking clue if they were supposed to be a dude or a chick — I could’ve just checked by feeling out with my power, but I really didn’t fucking care enough. — I didn’t know what to make of them, but to Mace’s disappointment Allison dumped his ass to go sit with him. Part of me was ecstatic at seeing him tossed aside like trash. But another part of me was annoyed. Why the hell was I so damned concerned about what happened to him?

Homeroom came to an end none too early and we all headed home save for Allison who escorted the newbies to the administration building to get their crap in order. When we came into the house, Caroline and Charlie decided we were going to make a welcome party. So they along with some of the others —Mace Included— got to help making some food and I left them all to do their prep while I went outside, sitting down on the edge of the deck and just taking in the evening breeze as well as the reddish-orange blur of the sunset. If there was anything I’d missed in jail it was the way the night felt; it was quiet save for nature doing its own thing, the breeze was cool but not enough that I was cold. But I didn’t get to enjoy it for long. The patio door opened and someone came out. I reached out with my power and immediately recognized Mace’s sword.

“Hey.” He meekly said before finding a spot to sit down not too far from me. Of course he had to ruin my quiet moment.

“Go away.”

“Jeez, I just wanted to talk.”

“You want to talk, fine. You know what? It seems like Allison got tired of you quickly.” I said with a smirk. “Got themselves someone else to play with.”

“Why do you care?” He asked with a sigh.

“I don’t.”

“Bullcrap. You suck at keeping your emotions in check, you’re fucking happy about this, aren’t you?”

“So what?”

“What the hell is wrong with you Jaime? I thought everything was fine and then you just dumped me out of nowhere and now you act like I’m the bad guy. What happened to you?”

“Nothing.”

“Jaime, stop lying to me. You know I care about—” As he spoke he put a hand on my shoulder.

I didn’t think, I reached out with my power and grabbed his clothes and his sword’s scabbard and yanked him backward. The force of my power sent him crashing back four or five meters and he hit his shoulder on one of the lounge chairs.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” I screamed at him.

“Jaime…” He got up and walked a few steps toward me.

He didn’t get close though as I took out my knives and interposed them between the two of us.

“Don’t you dare…”

“Jaime, why are you so angry? What did I do?” He asked, it wasn’t in anger though. It was the nice Mace, the let me help you Mace. Fuck him… I didn’t think about the words who came out.

“For someone who cares so much, you sure as hell got over me quickly!” I screamed. With the emotion, I lost control of my knives who fell down on the deck.

“Get over you?” He muttered in shock. “You told me to leave you alone.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually listen!”

“How was I supposed to know that? What was I supposed to do, just keep harassing you against your apparent desire? What kind of guy do you think I am?”

I didn’t answer.

“Jaime, I can’t read minds. But if you want me by your side as a friend or whatever, all you have to do is ask.”

“I have to go.” I mumbled before leaving. As I passed through the common room, I saw everyone bunched up by the new guys, apparently they were back. I got upstairs and into my room before lying down.

What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I care about all this bullshit? Mace always got on my nerve and yet here I was, completely incapable of handling the thought of him with someone else.

I stayed in bed, ruminating the thoughts over and over for a while until I felt a horrible pain in my chest. I barely had the time to get up that my body was shaken by a horrible cough. A horrendous metallic taste invaded my mouth. Against the pale wood floor of my room, I could see the red blur of blood.

Fuck…

The treatment was supposed to stop those… I hadn’t had them in months. Now they were back… That wasn’t good. I scrabbled back to my feet and found my meds, taking an extra dose. Doctor Wallace’s words came back to mind; you’ll be dead by the end of the year.

I knew treatment wasn’t going well, but I hadn’t thought it’d be so soon. I rushed downstairs and went toward the door. Although I put my hand on the handle, I didn’t open it.

What was the point of going to the doc? She’d just tell me there was nothing to be done… And then she’d poke me with all those instruments just to be sure… Fuck it… She could wait.

I turned around and went in the backyard. With my powers, I found Mace easily, sitting with his legs hanging in the pool with a plate of food on his lap.

“Hey again…” He muttered.

“I’m dying.” I said. “I’d be lucky if I make it to christmas. That’s what’s wrong with me. Happy now?”

“Oh my god… Is there anything that can be done?”

“No. It’s incurable. I don’t think the treatment is working anymore…”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t you dare tell anyone.”

“I won’t…”

His hand moved a bit came close to mine. This time I didn’t jerk away, I let him do whatever and he wrapped his hand around my index.

“Whatever happens, I’m here for you, okay?” He said.

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