Life After Purpose
Part III: Corrupt Thoughts
That little shit…if he thinks he can get away with saying such bullshit about me, then he’s mistaken. I should’ve made my point clear before he had his “protection” around. With my luck, Jaime was probably going to keep close to him from now on. The thought angered me. She’d used those damned weights against me. If I hadn’t worn them, I would’ve flattened him. I had to wear them, though. There wasn’t a choice in the matter. Without them on, I’d break so many things. At times, I wished they’d just let me do whatever the hell I wanted. That little fuck deserved it. I’d just wanted to go outside for a quick smoke even though it probably wasn’t permitted.
I tried to calm down from what happened, but his words stayed in my mind. My other side? He didn’t know what he was talking about. Though, that look he’d given me was something strange. It was like he’d never seen me before. Whatever it was, this was his problem. If he can’t defend himself after saying such crap, then I have no respect for him at all.
Going back inside, I wanted to go back to my room to try and relax. The others here were up by then and were talking amongst themselves. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Annabelle go out to where she’d sat before. I wondered if I should’ve joined her seeing as I was in a shitty mood. I decided to go and try and talk to her anyway, she could probably use some company.
She was sitting by herself and clearly tense when I sat beside her. Perhaps I was a little close, but it wasn’t like I was going to move away. Annabelle gave me a shy smile that I almost lost myself in, those angry thoughts from before long gone.
“How’s it going?” I asked as I tried not to come across as nervous as I was.
“It’s a little early for me…”
“Yeah, I’ve never liked waking up in the morning.”
“So, would you consider playing HotM again?” She asked, that curious fascination in her eyes once more.
“Sure, it looks interesting. I might get my own computer to play these games on, but I don’t think my parents would appreciate me bothering them.”
“I’m sure they’d like to hear from you?”
“Heh, I doubt it.”
“You’re not close with them?”
“No. Mostly because I’m not…” I didn’t want to think about this.
“They put expectations on you, right?”
“Something like that.”
“It’s okay, I understand. You should still talk to them, though. It couldn’t hurt.”
“I might. I don’t want to go yet, though. I’d rather talk to you.”
“I’m not sure if you mean that…” She looked down, unsure.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“There’s really no reason for you to want my company.”
“I’d think the same thing when it comes to myself, to be honest. Most people see me as abrasive and generally unpleasant.”
“You’re strong and confident, a number of people would kill to have those qualities.”
“I’m not as confident as you think, or strong, either. I have times when I break. Why I almost did so earlier when Mace said some bullshit.”
“Really? I didn’t see him as the type to do something like that?”
“I guess I gave him a good reason.” I shrugged.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it, whatever it was.”
“I seriously hope not.” I stared bitterly at the ground.
“Anyway. Did you want to play some more HotM sometime?”
“Yeah, that sounds nice.”
“Did it bother you when were, um, that close?”
“Well, we have a few minutes here before class starts…did you want to?”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.”
I watched her stand up and go into the other room. I didn’t see either Mace or Jaime since that conflict happened. If I did see them again, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to control myself. Maybe he had been right about me after all. I hated to think that it was true. I couldn’t let my anger take over my thoughts, especially now when I didn’t want to fuck up in front of Annabelle. It was going to be a struggle to see both her and him in the same room. Despite how I felt, I chose to put up a fight against my anger…
For her I wanted to.
Speaking of the little devil himself, Mace walked past me into the main room to where the others were. Jaime followed behind him and I saw her glance in my direction for a moment. I knew she had trouble seeing, but I had the feeling she knew where I was. I didn’t want to make enemies here and yet I totally did. It made things both interesting and miserable for people. Jaime probably hated me for lashing out at him like that. I almost hated her for stopping me.
Seeing as Annabelle hadn’t come back, I went to get my fill and ate absentmindedly. It wasn’t bad. When I was back at home, I didn’t really have anything home made like this. My parents would have something ordered in from the local restaurant. It got tiring over having the same thing over and over again, but then again I was probably just getting spoiled.
I was about to have another serving when Annabelle came back with the computer in her hands and a kind smile on her face. She sat down beside me and the screen showed that she’d been doing something else before coming out here. I was curious to what it’d been, but I didn’t want to seem intrusive.
Much like before, those negative thoughts disappeared and were replaced by some rather…sinful things about her. I was a little ashamed over it.