Life After Purpose
Part II: Burden
My conversation with my room mate hadn’t been too exciting. It lead to something I wasn’t expecting, really. I chose not to tell her too much about my sister, June. I wasn’t sure if I could do so without breaking down like an emotional fool. Either way, this person seemed to understand as she claimed to have gone through something similar. I didn’t know if I could trust her words, but there was little for her to gain from lying to me.
One thing I wondered was why she didn’t retaliate when I’d lashed out. That dangerous feeling I got from her had to be from something, right? Then again, she probably decided I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t sure if I should feel insulted or not.
I watched her go out the door without saying anything. Once more, I didn’t see her for the rest of the night, which I still found odd. It was still rather nice to sleep by myself again. Even when June and I lived together, we didn’t share the same room and I was always used to being alone in my own. I left this thought alone as it would seem we weren’t as close as I’d thought.
The next day was interesting. I had to go up against someone known as the Rook. He was a difficult challenge as I couldn’t find a weakness to exploit. I probably ended up looking like a complete wreck after I’d lost my balance several times. Luckily, the others found him just as challenging. A few ended on stalemates, though I did kind of want to know how it would’ve ended if the match had gone on. One student had used water to sweep him off his feet. I didn’t even know that sort of power could be that useful. They seemed to be upset when they’d used it, so I assumed it could’ve been tied to their emotions, as several abilities often were.
After those classes, they’d had us sit down for some rather boring lectures I didn’t pay much attention to. A few more students were introduced to the class, but I didn’t really care too much for that, either. I ended up writing down a few things that got my interest, but nothing too extensive. My notes weren’t ever really that decent, after all.
I left after the class ended even though the others were enjoying getting to know each other still. I didn’t see the point, I was probably going to be kicked out soon anyway. Even though I wasn’t really looking to start any sort of drama with somebody, those in charge would usually find reasons to not have to deal with me. My parents weren’t any different.
Back in my room, I struggled to read over the material. I couldn’t even read my own writing at times. I gave up after a short while and contemplated bothering my roommate again. She was sitting at the desk, reading through something. After a moment’s thought, I decided against harassing her and went out to try and talk with the others. The second I set foot out there, there was some heavy feeling in the air.
I wasn’t sure what just happened, so I brushed it off and my eyes once again fell to the food that was nearby. I saw Annabelle look over everything before taking her own share into the other area. She clearly tensed up when Mace started to talk to her. Again, she was clearly trying to be nice. He didn’t take it well when I decided to join in on their conversation. Not that I cared how he saw my intentions. After he left, I heard Annabelle say something about a gaydar, or something. Our conversation after that was interesting as I found that I was being rather suggestive with my words.
I didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, but her reaction was amusing. Unfortunately, this only provoked the side of me that wanted more. Our moment was sorta ruined when we were interrupted by some guy who’d used my name even though I didn’t really remember his. Seeing as he wasn’t about to leave any time soon, I decided to let them bond even though I felt a hint of jealousy over the whole thing. Now, why was I being petty?
I took my own share back into my room and saw that Yikaru was still looking over the notes. She seemed a little surprised when I spoke to her.
“Is that all you do?”
“I must keep up with my studies.” She said without a single thought.
“Aren’t you hungry? There’s plenty out there.”
“No, thank you.”
“Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen you eat a thing since you came here.”
“Human food isn’t really something I enjoy. Now, please leave me alone.”
I must say, that only encouraged my curiosity.
“Do you, like, enjoy anything?” I said, pushing my luck.
“I cannot afford to.” Her voice was quiet.
“Oh, come on. There has to be something.”
She went quiet and got noticeably tense. With that strange, dangerous feeling in the air again, I decided to leave her alone. Something told me I didn’t want to see her angry.
“Fine, I’ll let it be. I’m just saying it wouldn’t kill you to loosen up a bit. I’m gonna try and sleep, try not to party too hard, alright?”
I got a blank stare in response.
The next morning, I woke up still feeling rather tired. I then remembered what happened the night before. It was something about Annabelle and some sort of game? I remember seeing her blush and that we’d touched…It must’ve been a dream, because I don’t see why anyone would get that close to me. Where I was before, I was nothing but a burden and an annoyance. I don’t see why that would change now.